We’ve Grown and Moved to a New Site

UPDATE:

When we started this blog in 2010, we had three children.

Since that time we have had THREE MORE CHILDREN. We would love for you to visit us at www.coersfamily.com to see how we’ve grown.

2

We are pregnant… AGAIN! :)

Baby number FIVE is on the way!

We’ve been using the rythm method to avoid pregnancy for the next year. But a certain “somebody”  forgot to check the calender one day… We checked afterwards and said “woops!”

I began to suspect something was up when I found myself going to the bathroom A LOT. I took a test and it was negative. So I put it out of my head. Then, about two days later around 4 a.m. I was up to nurse Abigail and I needed to go to the bathroom. I had a nagging feeling I needed to test again. Sure enough, two little lines popped up. I did a double-take at least five times.

I returned to our bedroom and smacked hubby on the leg and said, “Hey! You need to wake up…. I’m pregnant.” He was pretty shocked. But we’re very happy about it.  God has blessed us! Abigail will be about 15 months old when our newest little one is born. We’re due around July 22, 2012. We’re planning another home/water birth.

UPDATE:

When we started this blog in 2010, we had three children.

Since that time we have had THREE MORE CHILDREN. We would love for you to visit us at www.coersfamily.com to see how we’ve grown.

2

The birth of our fourth child

I’m long overdue for an update!  Our tubal reversal went well. Within a few months, we were happily expecting our fourth child. We decided to have a home birth. Here is her story:

Abigail Scotlyn Coers

I went into labor on Friday, May 13th around 4 o’clock in the morning. I woke up with a strong contraction and I went to the bathroom. I saw bloody show! It was the first time in my life that I had seen this – I never noticed with my other three births. I went back to bed and tried not to wake up Scott, but I was too excited to be quiet.

The contractions kept coming fairly regularly for quite a while – but by 7 a.m. they had started to slow down. I was crushed! Abigail was already 6 days overdue and I was pretty tired of being pregnant. I waited until around 9 a.m. and I called our midwife, Betsy, to ask her if I could go ahead and use the castor oil/red raspberry leaf capsule plan to encourage labor to start again. Betsy told me that another client of hers might be going into labor at the same time. So I agreed that I wouldn’t take anything to speed up my labor. It was hard, but we waited.

My contractions kept coming irregularly all throughout Friday and into Saturday. I wasn’t able to get any sleep. Finally the contractions became regular around lunchtime on Saturday. Scott went ahead and filled up the birthing pool in our kitchen so I could get in after Betsy came to our house. Betsy came to check me around 2 o’clock in the afternoon and I was having regular contractions about every 6 minutes. She checked me and I was 5 cm dilated and 80% effaced! I was so thankful that I cried.

After that I labored in the birthing pool for quite a while. About 4 or 5 hours. I got out every hour to use the restroom and move around to encourage my labor to continue. The contractions became VERY strong. I started to vocalize the pain, making moaning sounds and saying “oooh, oooh, oooh!” And then when the contractions became closer together and even stronger I switched to say “OWWW! OWWW! OWWW!” Betsy was so wonderful, she kept praying for me and encouraging me. It was like having an angel there – helping me. She was so strong and courageous, but still sweet and loving. She was wonderful. Her helper showed up right around the time I reached my transition stage. Her name is Tara and she’s an EMT. She’s preparing to go to China on a medical mission to help women give birth. My homebirth was the first she had ever attended. I was honored to have her there and she was really helpful.

Unfortunately I vomited all through my transition phase. That was really hard. I had very strong contractions, but I couldn’t focus on relaxing because I was vomitting so much.

Betsy checked me and I was almost 10 cm dilated but my cervix was posterior and there was a lip in the way, holding back the baby. I had to get out of the pool and sit on a birthing stool while she tried to move my cervix out of the way. This was THE MOST painful part of my entire labor and birth. I was supposed to push with each contraction while she reached in and pushed my cervix back.

I had to move to the bed because I was so exhausted at this point and I couldn’t take anymore pain. Betsy tried to help move my cervix back again and I became frantic. I was begging for them to take me to the hospital. But it really was far too late to go to the hospital (and I’m glad – I didn’t really want to go, I was just out of my mind for a moment.) I feel so terrible that I lost my cool like that. I wanted to be so much stronger – but I was so tired after not sleeping for two days and my long labor. Betsy gave me a big spoonful of honey to give me more energy and they tried to push my cervix back again. This time it worked!

I got up and got back into the birthing pool. I started pushing gently, just sort of feeling it out. Then my body kicked into overdrive and started pushing on it’s own! That was so weird. I had no control. My muscles just slammed into action and pushed. I told my husband that I needed him in the pool to hold me up. He went to the bathroom and changed into some swim trunks. While he was gone my water broke. It did more than break – it EXPLODED! It kind of scared me. It felt like a big water balloon exploding between my legs. I could feel it all, even though my body was underwater.

Scott got back into the tub and sat behind me and held me up while I pushed. I grabbed onto his hands and later he told me he was really scared that I was going to break his fingers. Pushing was amazing and really difficult. I definitely felt the ‘ring of fire’ that everyone talks about. I think I kept saying “IT BURNS! IT BURNS!”

The baby was coming down very quickly, so Betsy told me to pant and let my body stretch. This was very hard and I don’t remember this part very well. Finally after only a couple of minutes of pushing she was out! Betsy pulled her up out of the water and laid her on my chest. My husband was crying and laughing at the same time. It was amazing. There was no more pain at all! My baby girl looked up at me and my husband – she was so beautiful. She looked right into our eyes.

After that we took an herbal bath together and Betsy checked me for tears. I didn’t have a single tear – only some stretch burns. We got dressed and got into bed and my children came home to see their new sister. It was so perfect.

The pain was more than I thought it would be and my labor was very hard. But I would do it again. I know it was the best way to deliver my baby.

Born safe at home into the arms of her loving parents

Snuggled in her nursery

Her birth certificate – born at home

Our first family picture with our newest member

UPDATE:

We would love for you to visit us at www.coersfamily.com to see how we’ve grown.

2

My second chance

I just can’t believe I’m actually typing this!

For the past four years, we’ve been looking at Dr. Perez’s site and making plans. Every year, something came up and the money we had set aside for the surgery would have to go to something else. It was heartbreaking at times.  But I believe we were on a timeline set by our Heavenly Father and it has worked out perfectly according to His will.

Ten years ago, after my youngest daughter, Vivian, was born I made the decision to have a tubal ligation. At the time I was very young, only 21 years old and I already had three children. I was worried about having more children. I was scared I couldn’t take care of them, or provide for them. So, even though my doctor tried to convince me to make a different choice, I insisted that I be sterilized.

I can say without a doubt that if I could change one thing in my life, I would NEVER have made that decision. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but that was by far, the worst one. God has blessed me with a special heart for children and a joy in motherhood. I was wrong to end that part of my life.

Over the course of the last ten years, God has brought me through some very tough struggles as a single parent and five years ago He blessed me with the most wonderful husband and a new realization of the person He wants me to be. About two years into our marriage, during worship service at church, I cried out to God to change me. I begged Him to use me, show me where to go, show me how to conduct my life. I wept as I cried out for His guidance. And I felt His peace wash over me.

You see, even though I wanted to have more children – God knew I wasn’t quite ready. I believe this spiritual process of healing was necessary in order to prepare me for my reversal surgery.

Isn’t God amazing?

This past January, we found out we would be getting back a large enough return to FINALLY have the reversal surgery. I can’t tell you how overjoyed I was. We held our breath every day until the money was deposited in the bank. We then started the process of filing for our passports. My husband already had a passport, but his was expired. I needed to file for the first time. We sent off our applications separately, but on the same day. They were both received on the same day and the two checks we sent were cashed the same day. But I got my passport back in 9 days and my husband’s has not come in yet.

Luckily, my husband’s grandfather’s wife, Tiko, is actually from Mexico and she travels over there all the time. Both Tiko, and Scott’s grandfather (Giddy) have passports. So I went ahead and scheduled my surgery for the 27th of March, thinking that if Scott’s passport wasn’t in by then, I could still go with Giddy and Tiko.

We drove down south and dropped our children off in Corpus Christi to visit my parents and grandparents. They had a wonderful weekend playing on the beach and having fun.

Scott and I drove to Pharr, where his grandfather lives. We found out that Tiko asked the officials at the border if Scott could show some other kind of ID to get across and they said if he had proof that he applied for his passport, his birth certificate and his driver’s license, he could travel across without any trouble. Scott was really glad to hear that because he wanted to be with me during my surgery.

We crossed without any problems. I didn’t know what to expect with all the scary news stories going around about the violence with the drug wars in Mexico. There were a lot of Border Patrol agents, some soldiers and police officers patrolling the streets – but it really was uneventful. We’re so thankful that we had so many people praying for our safety. We had nothing to worry about. God was watching over us.

We did have a little bit of trouble finding the hospital. We wrote down the directions, but the street signs were rusted and it was really difficult to tell where the city blocks ended. Luckily, Tiko speaks Spanish and we were able to ask for directions. I highly recommend using the shuttle service. We were blessed to be riding with Tiko and I don’t know how we would have found the hospital without her. Please use the shuttle service.

The reception area was absolutely charming! It was beautifully decorated with citrus colors and black accents. I wish I would have taken a picture – because I really loved it. We walked down the hall and checked in. The paperwork was in Spanish, so Tiko told me what to write and where to sign my name. And then we went to our room. The hospital is very nice and clean. Really, it’s just like the hospitals here in the United States – except the staff and doctors in Mexico are SO MUCH NICER!

After a little while, Dr. Levi came in to talk to us. He was so wonderful. He sat right down and talked to us for over an hour. I don’t think I’ve talked to any doctor for more than 20 minutes. I was so amazed that he was willing to answer every possible question we could have. There was no rush and I really appreciated all the information he gave us. He was so funny and it was easy to relax around him. My husband really liked him a lot.

That night, Tiko went out to one of the restaurants and brought back some amazing food! I tell you what – the food down there is just wonderful! We loved it.

The next morning, they woke us up pretty early – around 5:30 a.m. to put in my IV and draw some blood. Around 6:45, the cafeteria lady came in to give Scott some pancakes and Dr. Levi came in to give Scott some scrubs to wear. A nurse came in to put on my surgical booties and she covered my hair with a cap. Then I hopped into a wheel chair and went to the operating room.
Dr. Perez was there and I was able to say a brief hello. He seemed really nice – but we didn’t talk very much. They put in the epidural and I did go to sleep for a little bit. I woke up halfway through the surgery and I said some silly things because I was a little dopey. I told Scott we should name our son “Roberto” in honor of Dr. Perez and I said he was a great man like five times. So that’s a little embarrassing.

The surgery took about an hour. Dr. Levi worked on one tube and Dr. Perez worked on the other tube. I lost about 80 ccs of blood, which is hardly any! It really was a very successful surgery. They certainly know what they’re doing. After it was all over – I found out I have 7 to 8 cm on both sides! Dr. Levi told us we shouldn’t have any trouble at all getting pregnant!
My entire experience was wonderful. The doctors and nurses were really very nice. The hospital was clean and quiet. The food was terrific. And our journey was very safe.

Today I’m a little sore, like I did about 100 sit ups. But I’m able to move around slowly and my family is taking care of me. We praise God for keeping us safe and blessing us. And we’re so pleased with Dr. Levi and Dr. Perez and the hospital in Rio Bravo!

UPDATE:

We would love for you to visit us at www.coersfamily.com to see how we’ve grown.

2

Our new beginning

Ten years ago, after my youngest daughter, Vivian, was born I made the decision to have a tubal ligation surgery – or have my “tubes tied.” At the time I was very young, only 21 years old and I already had three children. I was worried about having more children. I was scared I couldn’t take care of them, or provide for them. So, even though my doctor tried to convince me to make a different choice, I insisted that I be sterilized.

I can say without a doubt that if I could change one thing in my life, I would NEVER have made that decision. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but that was by far, the worst one. God has blessed me with a special heart for children and a joy in motherhood. I was wrong to end that part of my life.

It took five years to fully realize that my decision was a mistake. And it’s taken another five years to be able to correct that mistake.

Ten long years.

At the end of this month we will be traveling to Mexico, to meet with Dr. Perez and have my tubal ligation reversal surgery – or have my “tubes untied.” Dr. Perez has been in practice for 30 years and he does about 150 tubal reversal surgeries every year. He’s very experienced and comes highly recommended. His hospital is affiliated with the Red Cross and is located just outside of the Texas border in Rio Bravo, Mexico. We have chosen to have our surgery with Dr. Perez because he has a very high success rate, he’s been in practice for a very long time and has plenty of experience, he’s close to us (as we are Texans) and quite frankly, it’s a lot less expensive to see him in Mexico.

Scott and I feel like this is the final step in our new beginning. We’ve talked extensively about the changes we’ve made as a couple in the last five years. We are not the same people we were ten years ago. In fact, we’re not the same people we were five years ago when we got married. We’ve grown together and we feel like we’re becoming the couple that God intends us to be – and we’re very excited by this!

I can’t say for sure if we’ll be able to have more children. It’s in God’s hands. But I’m overjoyed that I can finally do my best to correct a mistake I made a long time ago.

UPDATE:

We would love for you to visit us at www.coersfamily.com to see how we’ve grown.

2

Guilt and sorrow

I’ve been dealing with some very serious guilt issues these past few days. I’m trying to understand what the Lord is telling me. The best way for me to do that is to write out what I’m feeling and explain myself on “paper” – so to speak.

A long time ago, I was married to a young man. We had three children together. We also shared some very hard years together. He wrestled with many addictions. He battled depression. Ultimately I chose to leave that man. His addictions and self-destructive behavior lashed out at me and the children and I simply could not raise them in that environment. As a woman, I was crushed by his unfaithfulness and the abuse I suffered. As a Christian, I struggled to forgive and I’ve been tormented by guilt.

We recently discovered that the young man I married so long ago died from an overdose. Whether or not it was intentional is not yet known to me.

The guilt, anger, sadness and all the terrible feelings I’ve struggled to put away are now rising up again with a vengeance. There are questions that will never be answered in this life. There are feelings that can’t be put to rest peacefully. There is so much left unsaid. So many things I said in anger, I wish I could ask for forgiveness from that person.

Yes, I was wronged. I was betrayed and hurt terribly. But I believe that person that hurt me was suffering too. But I was too young and inexperienced to recognize that hurt and offer peace and comfort. I think I will always be sad when I think of those years lost.

I’ve been so blessed to be married to a wonderful man for the last five years. He’s been an amazing father to my children. He’s been such a wonderful husband to me. He’s taken care of us and healed so many hurts. I know God sent him just for me and I’m overwhelmed with love, both for my husband and for the Father who knew what I needed to be restored. God is unimaginably good to His children.

Even though I am completely loved, since I have learned of my ex-husband’s death I am wrestling with guilt and sadness.

I believe I may have come to an important realization this morning. Guilt can be a useful tool of the Holy Spirit to convict us when we are sinning. That guilt can cause us to repent and turn away from that sin. That kind of guilt is good.

But that useful tool can be twisted into a weapon. When the guilt overwhelms us and causes us to dwell on our past sins, it is no longer a tool used for good. I believe that kind of guilt is an attack. It is an evil whisper in our hearts that says, “You can’t be good enough. Look what you did. You can never be forgiven.”

That’s a lie. We are forgiven, completely. We only need to ask God and He is so quick to pour out His love and forgiveness. And as I pray for God to heal my hurts and ease my guilt, I’m praying for the young man I married a long time ago. I’m praying for his family.

God can work sorrow into joy. His Word tells us this is true.

 “… and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
       to bestow on them a crown of beauty
       instead of ashes,
       the oil of gladness
       instead of mourning,
       and a garment of praise
       instead of a spirit of despair.
       They will be called oaks of righteousness,
       a planting of the LORD
       for the display of his splendor.”

- Isaiah 61:3 (New International Version)

I praise God for the beauty He gives us in the midst of ashes.

You have to pay to play in our house

We are “techies.” Our family loves games on the computer and Wii. Our daughters have Nintendo DS systems and our son loves his handheld PSP. Recently I noticed a disturbing trend in our household. The more video games we played, the more we slacked off on our chores, our tempers were shorter with each other and basic courtesy and respect were on a serious decline.

I started a solid rule in our home: No more than one hour a day for computer and video games.

It was a good start in the right direction. Unfortunately, it is very easy to lose track of time when you’re playing your favorite video game. I’m so thankful the Lord blessed me with a better way to handle our video game situation!

Introducing our “Pay to Play” method!

Our children pay to play their favorite games

I grabbed a few of our old poker chips and designated colors: Blue for Rowena, Red for Daniel and White for Vivian. Each child is given four chips at the start of each day. Each chip is worth 15 minutes of game time. This counts for games on the computer, Wii or their handheld systems.

One firm rule is set: No game time until chores and school work are completely done.

The chips also come with some rules of their own. If the kids are spending their chips and we find a chore or a school assignment isn’t finished, they lose a chip (or two). But there is a perk as well, if we see them doing something above and beyond their chores – like unloading the dishwasher without being asked – and they don’t try to bribe chips out of us, then we will reward them with a chip (or two).

Miss Rowena was outside, raking the yard the other day. We didn’t ask her to do it, she just started doing it. You can be sure we gave her two chips for that!

Since we’ve implimented this new “Pay to Play” system in our house, attitudes are improving and our days are a lot more productive.

UPDATE:

When we started this blog in 2010, we had three children.

Since that time we have had THREE MORE CHILDREN. We would love for you to visit us at www.coersfamily.com to see how we’ve grown.

2

Homemade Gingerbread

We simply can’t wait for the Christmas season in our home. As soon as we say goodbye to November, we like to whip up a batch of this wonderful gingerbread. I first found a version of this recipe online and I made some changes for our family’s taste preferences. We love to bake this for friends on cold days. This bread fills the house with the most wonderful smell! It definitely gets us in the mood for Christmas.

Homemade Gingerbread

Ingredients:

  • ½ cup granulated sugar
  • ½ cup margarine, softened
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup dark molasses
  • 2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 ½ teaspoons baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1 teaspoon ground ginger
  • ½ teaspoon ground cloves
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup hot water

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 and lightly spray a 9 x 13 inch baking pan with cooking spray.

In a large bowl, cream together sugar and margarine until fluffy. Beat in one egg and mix in the molasses. Set aside.

In another large bowl, combine all the dry ingredients and mix well. Stir into the creamed margarine, sugar, egg and molasses until well mixed. Next, slowly stir in the hot water. Blend until well mixed.

Pour into prepared pan and bake for one hour. To check, insert a knife into the center – it should come out clean.

UPDATE:

When we started this blog in 2010, we had three children.

Since that time we have had THREE MORE CHILDREN. We would love for you to visit us at www.coersfamily.com to see how we’ve grown.

2

Chicken Taco Soup

I recently shared this with an online friend – and I thought I’d better share it here, too!  :)

Chicken Taco Soup

Ingredients: (for a really big ol’ batch)

  • 5 lbs chicken quarters
  • 1 small can green chilies
  • 1 small yellow onion
  • 2 cans stewed tomatoes
  • 1 can Mexican-style stewed tomatoes
  • 2 cans black beans
  • 2 cans yellow hominy
  • 1 packet of taco seasoning
  • 1 packet ranch dressing mix
  • Garlic powder
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Olive oil
  • Optional toppings: salsa, sour cream, shredded cheese

Directions:

In a large pot, boil the chicken quarters in water with salt, pepper and garlic powder until cooked through. Remove the chicken from the broth and debone. Pour broth through a mesh strainer into a large bowl and set aside.

Dice the onion and place in a large pot with a few tablespoons of olive oil and the green chilies. Allow onion to brown slightly. Add shredded chicken to the pot along with taco season and ranch dressing mix. Stir and then add the chicken broth back to the pot.

Open two cans of black beans and drain and rinse before adding to the pot. Open the hominy, drain and add to the pot. In a blender, combine the stewed tomatoes, blend well and add this to your soup.

Stir well to mix all the wonderful flavors. Cover and allow to simmer over low heat for 30 minutes.

UPDATE:

When we started this blog in 2010, we had three children.

Since that time we have had THREE MORE CHILDREN. We would love for you to visit us at www.coersfamily.com to see how we’ve grown.

2

A Christmas blessing of hope

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty down. Some things have happened lately in my life that have been hard to overcome. I’ve felt separated from my Heavenly Father. My faith has been shaken. It’s been a dark few weeks for me. I’ve been pressing on, continuing to serve, though my heart wasn’t entirely in it. I know there are seasons like this in all our lives and I was working through my own struggles.

Today I was busy baking pumpkin cookies and working on some centerpieces for a Christmas party. I thought it would be nice to hear some holiday music as I worked, gluing ornaments together and the smell of pumpkin and spices filled the house. And as I listened, my heart was lighter. I felt hopeful again. Joy crept into my weary soul once more. I had this one thought, “I was sad, but Christmas is coming.” It has occurred to me today that mankind faced a long season of weary struggling through darkness. And then Christmas came. Our savior was born and the world felt light and joy again.

While tying ribbons, I caught a shimmer of excitement and I felt as if I was preparing for my savior Himself to arrive at the Christmas party. That kind of joy is overflowing! I pray my friends and family are blessed with a renewal of joy and hope this season. As we hang our lights, decorate our trees and sing the songs that celebrate our savior’s birth – I pray you all catch a spark of excitement that our Lord is coming back so very soon. Imagine the day when we celebrate as one body, basking in the light of His glory.

UPDATE:

When we started this blog in 2010, we had three children.

Since that time we have had THREE MORE CHILDREN. We would love for you to visit us at www.coersfamily.com to see how we’ve grown.

2

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